In this Entry:

State of the World/ Feel Better Tips
Personal Reflection/ Power of Connection
Just Because/ McMenamins
Postscript

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. Given the state of so much in our world – war, politics, inflation – it’s no surprise. Add our own or loved ones’ aging or health challenges, and it feels like a lot. Yes, it is important to let those feelings in, versus deny, and take actions as we can to make it better. I think more and more of us are feeling a bit helpless. Like those actions we do take (letters, protests, phone calls) seem to matter less even though we know in our hearts we must keep them up. And to be clear, I am very well aware of how fortunate I am in all that I have. I am grateful. And that, in itself, adds a different kind of angst in recognition of being one of the “haves” rather than “have nots” in our hopes to help make things better for others.

There are the basics, like good sleep, nutrition, exercise and sometimes seeking mental health support. While we do all that, we too need to promote our other feel good solutions and remedies. Here are a few of my extras. Perhaps you relate to some of them or welcome a reminder to explore them. I’d love to hear about your personal favorites too.

Feel Better Tips

Get a dose of early sunshine

For the last few springs, I’ve been using the bits of circadian science I learned all those years ago working at OHSU. As I go through my usual morning routine (reading the Oregonian, Wordle, Quordle and all that) I sit on my porch. This doesn’t work as well on a rainy morning, but even bits of early sunlight can make a difference. Yes, that early morning sunlight gives us a powerful spurt of cortisol that aids in producing energy and stopping melatonin production, helping us sleep better at night. I remember the first year I consciously did this, subsequently noticing soon after my spirit to be a bit elevated.

Find time for your “getting joy” activity

For me, this includes getting out to walk or ride, doing my morning “garden inspection” and taking time to write. Finding moments for our “joyful” activities is far easier for those of us with time on our hands. That being said, my overworked healthcare intensivist daughter and I were discussing her new idea for a joyful volunteer opportunity. This isn’t about creating “more” commitment for her overworked schedule, but giving her an out of a work responsibility (that she does love) and an in for creativity and joy.

One of my favorite occasional “get joy” activities is going on one of my rambles. Yes, close friends know this about me. Maybe it is today’s version of the early explorer (but make no mistake, I am not nearly tough enough to have been one of those). I have no idea why, but I get great satisfaction in getting from point A to B (and maybe adding in C and D) by foot or bicycle. I’ve always done this, even when I worked and could make time for it, choosing a walking path instead of a bus route, for example. I’m careful not to cram too much into my planned excursion so that it can unfold organically. And so, yesterday I decided to take the bus to meet my friend Evan for coffee in Sellwood. Oh, Trimet 35 no longer stops at the Sellwood Bridge? No worries, I have the time I need to walk further along the river trail before crossing. I timed my meeting with my dear cousin downtown so that I wouldn’t be stressed if a bus didn’t come right away, after all – I love to walk. By the time I made it home I had logged nearly eight miles, but what a day I had!

And writing is also where I go for joy. This morning I finish an essay as I sip on my favorite black tea (yes with a spot of milk, no sugar please), or massage this mishmash of words into a blog (yes, it began as few minute jumble of dictation as I walked yesterday). I remind myself, I write this blog for me and a way to tame my brain. There is a fine line between hoping people read it and obsessing over “stats.”

Stop obsessing

You’d be surprised but that duck of my grandmother’s and newer gnome send me gentle reminders. Really.

And yes, that leads into this tip. Perhaps many of us have something in particular our brain tends to spin on or obsess over. These days, my obsessiveness shows up in a compulsive need to do MORE MORE MORE to promote my books or get more sales or reads. Yes, it is my own challenge with seeking more recognition, and it’s a big deal for me to even admit it publicly. It happens more when I have more free time. Surprise! And, too, I am reminded of my high achieving and beloved mom, and repeat to myself her later in life lessons. While my ability to be efficient and accomplished has helped me in my professional life, I too am now working to tame it. To remind myself of the fairy tale I wrote in From First Breath to Last, that truly, “Enough is enough.” And while Dad subscribed to the AA steps or sentiments that “you do the work” and then turn it over,” there is without a doubt a parallel for me here. As if sent by the universe, after settling in on this “turn over” business, I received a message from a new reader of A Map of Her Own that said, “I LOVED your book. The last sentence made me cry.” Yes, crying while reading a book is good, I say.

Hang out with Littles

Whether this is a small kid in the neighborhood, friends or family members, or grandkids, oh my what an opportunity! My Gaga Fridays leave me exhausted but joyous in having spent the day laughing and being in the moment. Before I had a grandkid (and even still today) I am grateful in the relationships I have with the kids on my block. It doesn’t take much to pay attention and join in on a joke or story. Early in the pandemic, I bought a garden rabbit statue for my neighbors with two young kids. Though their parents knew the source of this rabbit’s appearance, the kids did not. They were then at the age of full make believe and loved the sneakily placed notes I would bring full of rabbit stories. (See Creating Magic in Difficult Times).

Give back

Give back when you have the time and resources to do so. I’m grateful that, although retired, I retained a board position with an organization important to me. Too, I recently began a new volunteer journey as a hospice volunteer. This I am grateful for. I’ve just begun reading the book Loaaners: The Making of a Street Library by Ben Hodgson and Laura Moulton, and highly recommend you pick up a copy. While sometimes it feels like we can never do enough to help others with less than us, this book helps illustrate how ingenuity and compassion can make a difference.

Find social

Our needs for social vary as do what types of social contact are fulfilling. I tend to prefer one on one, but I too know how best to enjoy larger crowds. I also know I am always ready to leave those kinds of scenes before Russ, so I plan for that ahead of time. Sometimes it means I can walk or cycle home, while other times I surrender to it. It turns out I’m a lot like my dad in that department, he who would simply disappear from an event after his extroverted self needed quiet time with a book.

Power of Connection: Book Quotes

And…on the topic of being social. Sometimes, at least for me, a short chat with someone I don’t know, soothes my soul. Nearly every day I find a moment of connection with someone I’ve never met before. Or someone I knew, but now see them in a new way. As I began to draft Beyond the Ripples, including unexpected connections between characters, those kinds of contacts seemed to happen even more in my own life. And so, I thought it’d be fun to pull out a few of my most related quotes from my three works of fiction. Learn more about all my books.

“I don’t know where my friend Ernest might be these days, where he came from or really anything about his life. I know that he and I connected in those few moments in a way that taught me a most important life lesson. And so, it is Ernest I thank for being the one to pull my bottle out of that snag: To lead me on my path to accept life; the happiness and the sadness, the goodness and the evil. And all the other degrees along the way. I look toward the clouds—at one moment in time—and I am reminded of, for whatever reason, a poem I thought about writing one day long ago. Another day, I see an old woman on the bus: I catch her eye and she smiles. I smile back and I know that the smile we share, for only a few seconds, will carry her to her next stop. And it is now I know, in being open to these moments and being willing to believe in the power of beauty and human life, that I too will help others as I continue my journey in life.”
Annie in Beyond the Ripples, Epilogue

“Yep, I learned. I’m old you bet.” The woman looked at Tabitha and smiled cynically, as she nodded. “No unhappy person is going to ruin my day, any of my days anymore.” She shook her head. Then
she stopped to glance around the park. “Look around you. Get your head out of your hind end. Look at the beauty of the day. If you listen quietly, the birds are singing and the roses over there blooming. Darn
lucky to be alive, I say. You never know it could be your last day.” She hesitated, and then dramatically took in a deep breath. “You wouldn’t know, not yet. But ask me. I’m close to that last day.”
From Humanity’s Grace, People Never Change

“Celia sat back in the couch and closed her eyes. She tried to take in all she had heard. How many family stories were lost because people were afraid to talk about them? She thought about the years that had passed without knowing much, not just about Emma, but about her grandmother and her own mother.”
Celia in A Map of Her Own

And about those McMenamins…

Yes, to the ingenuity of Oregon’s McMenamin’s restaurants. While some may critique their food or service, not always recognizing the challenges especially now within the hospitality industry, there can’t be much denial about their celebration and preservation of old spaces. When I released my first book and memoir, My Music Man, I regaled to be able to present a book talk within the McMenamin’s Wilsonville Old Church and Pub. After all, this was a Methodist Church during my childhood and the location where our mom taught the then private kindergarten. And McMenamin’s created one of my all time favorite event promo images. I only recently visited their history blog where I learned about the Brewpub law. I honestly did not know that prior to 1980, it was against the law for a bar to sell beer brewed on location. Wow, have times changed! And while I’m certain Dad would have a smart quip to counter that (let’s see: don’t say I didn’t warn you?), the brew pub of today is far from those earlier years.

Without a doubt, the McMenamin Brothers, have saved dozens of buildings from otherwise being demolished. How many of these restaurants or hotels have you visited? Mike and Brian McMenamin of Northeast Portland, opened their first brew pub, the Barley Mill on Southeast Hawthorne in 1983. Certainly, the best known include the Kennedy School, a 1915 elementary school, and Edgefield, originally built in 1911 as the Multnomah County Poor Farm. While we awaited our grandson’s birth three years ago, Russ and I stopped at a new one for us, the White Eagle Saloon and Hotel. And most recently, as we returned from a DAR event in Dupont, Washington, we stopped in at Kalama Harbor Lodge. Okay, the food wasn’t great but that view was spectacular. It was designed to honor the town’s namesake, John Kalama, a Native Hawaiian who settled there in the 1830s, and is one of their fewer, more newly constructed establishments. And although I prefer the history contained within McMenamin’s older structures, our sunset backdrop to the grand Columbia River was certainly something to write home about. And fitting.

Postscript: Upcoming Events

In Conversation with Patrick Webb, book talk and signing at Astoria Public Library, Wednesday, June 24 at 5:30 pm, Astoria OR.

Washougal Community Market Featured Author, Friday, July 17 from 2-8 pm, Washougal, WA.

Portland Humanities Book Group: Reading Dede’s Beyond the Ripples, Thursday, September 10, 2026, Friendly House, Portland (all welcome)

A Map of Her Own at Lake Oswego Third Tuesday, Tuesday, September 15, 2026 from 7-8 pm. The Lake Theater, Lake Oswego, OR.

Rooted in Place: History and Family Story as the Foundation of Fiction and Nonfiction, Museum of the Oregon Territory (MOOT), Thursday, September 24, 2026, 7 pm. (Tentative)

Book Groups – happy to join! Reach out to me.

Learn more on my Events Page.