One of the most profound homework assignments I remember from high school was the one requiring me to write my own obituary. The class was called "Values and Conflicts" and I think the teacher created it from the book Values Clarification. I was a top student and loved learning: humanities, advanced composition, but also suffered … Continue reading About tomorrow
joy and grief
Speaking of life
Mom, pregnant me and Audrey at my baby shower in Seattle, 1990 Last weekend I attended a memorial service for my aunt and uncle. This aunt was one of Mom's six sisters: the one I teased about being my favorite before adding,"but don't tell anyone." She would launch her joyous laugh and more times than … Continue reading Speaking of life
Dear Dad, I have news
It is true. I need to tell Dad my news, even though I'm nearly 61. Next best was telling my brothers - they get it. There was something about work-related successes and challenges that our dad keenly understood. Not that Mom didn't, but it always felt different with Dad. Much of my life I had … Continue reading Dear Dad, I have news
Dirtying our hands, feeding our souls
First thing this morning I went outside and cut the remaining zinnia blossoms from one of our flower pots. I felt a sense of completion as I cut off large swaths, stripped off the lower drying leaves, and arranged the stems in a vase. Orange, pink, purple. Yes, I too felt a bit of sadness … Continue reading Dirtying our hands, feeding our souls
Grief, gratitude and all that lies between
Earlier this month I joined four authors to read our work at Coffee and Grief Podcast. I thank the creators and supporters of this series, Anne, Maria and Scott. Last week's podcast was the 38th month of sharing by writers and hosted by them. What a commitment! Because some of you let me know you … Continue reading Grief, gratitude and all that lies between
Seeking calm waters: letting go
My Music Man, Summer The first time I paddled a kayak as an adult, I borrowed a boat and floated MIssoula's nearby Milltown Pond. A few years ago I posted a blog about buying my first boat, and included the story about how my then-boyfriend now-husband tried to be patient while I, a somewhat stubborn … Continue reading Seeking calm waters: letting go
A circle of caregiving
This piece first appeared in Today's Caregiver on April 4, 2022. Thank you Today's Caregiver for sharing my writing with your followers. My mother died in my dining room during the pandemic. Three weeks prior, the 2021 ice storm devastated Oregon’s Willamette Valley and cut power to our home and her electric hospital bed. Yet, … Continue reading A circle of caregiving
Dear Mom, it’s Christmas and I miss you
Dear Mom, it's Christmas and I miss you. I've missed you every day since you died; how can it have been nine months? I miss you as I visit parks, so many places you and I journeyed together - later you using sticks, walker and wheelchair. I miss you when I cook certain foods, listen … Continue reading Dear Mom, it’s Christmas and I miss you
Paddling, mournfully I muse
I went for a paddle this morning. Knowing it to be one of the last warmer fall mornings. Relaxing a bit, knowing I couldn’t get in the water as early as I do in the summer with daylight lapsing, yet still one of the only boats on the water. Not being much of a cold … Continue reading Paddling, mournfully I muse
My life and alcohol
My inner voice has been re-crafting this blog for some time, stopping when my outer voice tells me no. Is it because I feel a bit of an imposter? Yes, my dad was an alcoholic, but my childhood was so good compared to many others. Is it my recognition that many of us have stories related … Continue reading My life and alcohol
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