The anniversary emotional rollercoaster

So many different anniversaries we note in these human lives we lead. We anticipate them, celebrate some and mourn others. We memorialize significant historical and celebratory events, the bad and good: D.Day, 9/11, the first pandemic lock down, the 1977 Blazer NBA win, February 14, 1859 Statehood. Some anniversaries remind us of accomplishments: we reminisce … Continue reading The anniversary emotional rollercoaster

Sorrow, renewal and little altars

Earlier this week my friend asked me if she could share something she had been wanting to mention, but wasn't sure I was ready to hear. Yes, I replied. I'm game. I'm good. She reminded me that as part of the loss I have experienced recently, I have lost being anyone's daughter. Anyone on earth, … Continue reading Sorrow, renewal and little altars

Siblings: When the going gets tough…part 2

The other day was National Siblings Day. In years past I’ve shared a goofy picture, remarking on my place as only daughter in a family of five kids. Placed strategically in the middle. I write this blog with a bit of hesitation, as I know I am darn lucky to have the relationship I do … Continue reading Siblings: When the going gets tough…part 2

A circle is forever

Expensive jewelry has not been a big thing in my family. Our few sentimental pieces lack significant financial value. When my paternal grandmother (Who Who) died, as her youngest granddaughter and namesake, I inherited her jewelry box as determined by my older female cousins. Then at 21, living life simply and more interested in mountains … Continue reading A circle is forever

127 nights to treasure forever

For 127 days I greeted Mom in the morning, sang Barges at night and recited the Lord’s Prayer. She lay in her hospital bed, dining room table pushed to the wall, chandelier cabled close to the ceiling. Most nights she joined me in phrases as we sang about barges flickering lights, resurrecting distant memories for … Continue reading 127 nights to treasure forever

Music is the one thing

Thank you to Portland Youth Philharmonic for sharing music to be enjoyed by all. A partial remedy to the absence of live music during the pandemic is the potpourri of livesteamed opportunities. A silver lining for us, Mom would not be getting out to any of them even in the absence of a pandemic, nor … Continue reading Music is the one thing

Forcing holiday joy

For several decades I have faithfully planted a dozen or two Paperwhite Narcissus bulbs shortly after Thanksgiving, patiently awaiting the arrival of their white blossoms and heady fragrance. This was not a tradition I grew up with and I’m not sure what or who inspired me to begin it, but now it is as much … Continue reading Forcing holiday joy

Caring is creative, gratitude nourishes us all

Neighborhood friend Asa shares his tennis ball. It was after my dad died six years ago that I understood I had joined a new club, one whose entry requirements are unfathomable until a parent dies. Late last month I made another transition, one carrying its own membership criteria: adult children caring full time for a … Continue reading Caring is creative, gratitude nourishes us all

My dear friend

My dear friend.Was the warm fishy smell of the river seeping out of the banks?You know the smell, the one that all of us from around here mark as Summertime.Summertime on the rivers of the Willamette Valley.Cottonwood fiber and blackberry and a few fish heads that someone left behind.All mixed up together as if a … Continue reading My dear friend

Mourning

I miss her. This mother of mine. My missing of her is different than that of Dad. He who already left this earth. I’m an unknown shape to her through the window unless it’s a good day. She sees the darkness in my hair. Outline of my lips in a smile against the paleness of my … Continue reading Mourning